The Reflexive: Two Weeks In

Beach Huts in St Leonards

It has been an interesting two weeks on this next phase of my life. One of the subjects that has come up in my thoughts is sentimentality and how it works in my life. There’s nothing wrong with going on a sentimental journey from time to time and reflecting on those special times and tender moments in your life. But for me, I believe it’s held me back at different times in my life.

Sometimes the familiar is much easier and less scarier than venturing out in new territory. Of course I’ve taken some risks and ventured out in new territory in my life. Like my move to Seattle from Brooklyn in 2003, which wasn’t really a big deal for me. I don’t mean to downplay that, it was a big event but the difference with that was, I never questioned it or had absolutely any fear or doubt about heading into that new chapter in my life. It’s when I have fear of something new that I want to retreat into the familiar and comfortable. It’s when you put yourself out there and feel completely vulnerable. So it’s not necessarily the big things in life I’ve turned away from, though I have, but the little things as well. For example going to a function and some gallery where I don’t know anybody. I’d rather stay home and watch something stupid on tv and have doughnuts. You’ve got to climb out on the branch to get the fruit. I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Anyway I don’t mention all this to bore you with my self analysis. It’s just that the other day I thought, wait what am I doing? This is scary. And it's times like this when sentimentality takes center stage where I'd rather think about another time in my life, a safer time. Things were easier then, right? I know what happens. I’ll live back there instead of the giant chasm of the yet unknown that opens before me. It’s not surprising. Unlike my move to Seattle, I’ve had a lot of fear about this whole experience.

Me in Tenterden

When I have these feelings, I need to remember times in the past when I was fearful and felt completely out of my comfort zone as I ventured out into new territory. In some of those instances, I was able to carry on anyway. So that's the important thing to really remember, I may have been full of fear but I did it anyway. So that means I can be fearful today and can still do this crazy thing anyway. I know you all can relate to this because after all, y’all are human, right? I knew I would have these feelings of doubt and fear, when I first made this decision in April. So here they are. I’ll probably have them again in the future too. But I’ll do all the things anyway. So that’s all I’ll say about it…in this blog anyway. Now despite those feelings, I've really had a good time in the past two weeks.

On Thursday, Thanksgiving, another American, Lizzy who has lived in England for 22 years, had a Thanksgiving dinner party. At one point during the evening there were as many as thirty people in attendance. Lizzy, Clarissa and I were the only Americans in attendance. I educated the British guests on the true meaning of Thanksgiving; families coming together to fight. So I threw a turkey leg across the room, flipped over the cranberry sauce and shouted, “You took momma’s money!’ Then I walked out and slammed the door.

It was a great get together, a dinner party really, with great food and great company and good conversion. There was also some crazy, good charcuterie boards. The highlight for me though was when this British couple, who I had been talking to for a while, tried pumpkin pie for the first time in their lives. I focused on their eyes and watched as their pupils fully dilated with their first bite. They were hooked.

Charcuterie Board Madness

On Saturday there was the Frost Fair. A community lead event that features the arrival of the Snow Queen and her Court, Jack Frost, Krampus and the Wildmen and of course St Nicolas. It is their foray into the Christmas season. King’s road, which has all kinds of lovely restaurants, coffee shops and vintage stores, is closed down to car traffic for festive markets with all kinds of holiday delights. It reminded me of The Fremont Sunday market in Seattle, which I love. I did talk to some shoppe and gallery owners most notably Calneva vintage which is a store I could live in. It’s full of mid century items and vibes and a “peachy selection of greeting cards.” Big Yin gallery, which focuses on local talent, which featured the work of Ibi Meier-Oruitemeka (IMO). Then a trip to Lucy Bell gallery featuring "Back to the 80’s" which features photographs of mostly early 80’s British music icons. You better believe Robert Smith and Siouxsie Sioux were on the wall. All these places are minutes from each other surrounded by a host of other fabulous shops.

Frost Fair in St Leonards

There was an acoustic guitar in the place I had been staying. I’ve been messing around with it every night. One of things I want to do is some busking. All I need to do is play at least one song really well and that’s all you need to play in some park. As long as the people keep moving. You don’t want some person who’s sitting on a bench to hear you play the same song 5 times in a row and be wise to your game. But what I really want to do is play an acoustic version of “Ça plane pour moi” in Jardin du Luxembourg.

I have also gone to many coffee shops, drank lots of coffees and ate all the baked goods that were available. That’s really what this trip is about, coffee and baked goods. That is all I’ve budgeted for. I haven’t eaten anything else. And of course, I’ve taken a lot of photos, here in Hastings and St Leonards as well as Bexhill, Tenterden and Rye. Why don’t you look at 425 photos here. And here's a short video

of some of the places I went to.
Up next I’m in Amsterdam for a month, taking care of two sweet kitties. Look out for more words and photos down the line. See ya and Happy Holidays to you all.